A la Seinfeld
I’m wolfing down my lunch at Fresh Choice, gobbling along with me was my frequent lunch buddy Sriks. I was listening intently to his narration of his recent India trip, when out of the blue I heard “Hi Manohar”. I looked up to see an associate from the past. Before I could reply back, etiquette demanded that I finish chewing the food that had been packed in from the last trip the fork had made from the plate to my mouth. Taking a good 5 seconds I kept smiling at him as I worked away and he waited patiently. A swig of water to accelerate the mastication and some hasty hand wiping over the nearest tissue- I greeted back and shook hands still sitting.
By now 10 seconds had passed since we first met. Is it too late to stand up now that the greeting part was over? I was not sure. In any case this might just be a Hi/Bye scenario and me continuing to sit should be fine- probably our rendezvous would be done in the next 20 seconds. He enquired how things were at work and not to be bested I asked back with equally vital questions. He is about 6-6’’ tall and my head was tilted at 70 degrees from the horizontal plane, highlighting my sitting act. A part of me was telling me that now would be a good time to stand up (the angel part), while the devil inside reminded by tapping the watch that a whole minute had passed and that its too late to stand now.
More pleasantries were exchanged and I was visibly sweating now from the pressure to stand. In a desperate attempt to divert the conversation, I introduced Sriks to him. Sriks promptly sprung up like a merry jack in the box and shook hand with surprising alacrity. Now I was the only one left sitting. Should I stand up now under the pretext that I’m following Sriks or should I hold my ground and continue sitting. I chose the latter as I tried to act comfortable in my sitting role. My smile belying the storm this decision had created in my tranquil mind.
3 full minutes of conversation later he bid farewell and made to return to his table. As soon as he was out of earshot- I eyeballed Sriks for 30 seconds hoping to make him uncomfortable. That just bounced of him as he resumed his aforementioned wolfing.
Me:“Thanks very much for standing up”.
Him: “Eh?”
Me: “Don’t tell me you didn’t notice that I wasn’t standing”
Him: “Oh!”
Me: “Yes and it became extremely apparent after you shot up to shake hands”
Him: “I always stand up to shake hands”
Me: “I usually do too… but I didn’t for 5 seconds and then it was too late”
Him: Very puzzled look
Me: Continuing to eyeball him.
We finished lunch and with our centre of gravity duly skewed, we got up to leave. As we passed the other table, I stopped to say bye. He continued to sit while we did the pleasantry routine all over again.
Was I absolved ?
By now 10 seconds had passed since we first met. Is it too late to stand up now that the greeting part was over? I was not sure. In any case this might just be a Hi/Bye scenario and me continuing to sit should be fine- probably our rendezvous would be done in the next 20 seconds. He enquired how things were at work and not to be bested I asked back with equally vital questions. He is about 6-6’’ tall and my head was tilted at 70 degrees from the horizontal plane, highlighting my sitting act. A part of me was telling me that now would be a good time to stand up (the angel part), while the devil inside reminded by tapping the watch that a whole minute had passed and that its too late to stand now.
More pleasantries were exchanged and I was visibly sweating now from the pressure to stand. In a desperate attempt to divert the conversation, I introduced Sriks to him. Sriks promptly sprung up like a merry jack in the box and shook hand with surprising alacrity. Now I was the only one left sitting. Should I stand up now under the pretext that I’m following Sriks or should I hold my ground and continue sitting. I chose the latter as I tried to act comfortable in my sitting role. My smile belying the storm this decision had created in my tranquil mind.
3 full minutes of conversation later he bid farewell and made to return to his table. As soon as he was out of earshot- I eyeballed Sriks for 30 seconds hoping to make him uncomfortable. That just bounced of him as he resumed his aforementioned wolfing.
Me:“Thanks very much for standing up”.
Him: “Eh?”
Me: “Don’t tell me you didn’t notice that I wasn’t standing”
Him: “Oh!”
Me: “Yes and it became extremely apparent after you shot up to shake hands”
Him: “I always stand up to shake hands”
Me: “I usually do too… but I didn’t for 5 seconds and then it was too late”
Him: Very puzzled look
Me: Continuing to eyeball him.
We finished lunch and with our centre of gravity duly skewed, we got up to leave. As we passed the other table, I stopped to say bye. He continued to sit while we did the pleasantry routine all over again.
Was I absolved ?
posted by Manohar at 10/28/2005 03:29:00 PM
5 Comments:
Humourous article dude. Getting little CP does'nt hurt.
I just encountered this scenario. One fellow came along, and leaned on my cubicle wall. So, I continued sitting. Along came another one - this time a pregnant colleague. Now, do I get up??! Soon, I had 5 people towering over me - Now, what am I supposed to do?!
Tell Me About Manu's Escapades !!!
Invariably, I've been a perplexed witness one time too many and the *honoured* recepient of an hour of "you know why it happened??"
Manu, maybe you should share 'intorducing people' OR rather 'the lack of it' escapades sometime...
totally hilarious! And I do think you are absolved :)
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