TOP 10 THINGS YOU HEAR WHEN YOU ANNOUNCE YOU ARE TRAINING FOR A MARATHON:
10. My Doctor tells me running is bad for the knees.
His doctor meant- "running is bad for *his* knees". His knees have even forgotten what they are after all those years of couch potatoeing.
9. Whats the distance you have to run for this.. this... marathon thingy...
Pprobably genuine, so make a straight face and give it to him. But this question is really a setup for the next one...
8. Really??? I'm sure I remember it being 26.2 Kilometers...
Got to ridicule him... "Yeah.. but, they changed it last week to 26.2 miles".
7. These days everybody is running one. In fact, I might try one myself...
It irks more when this comes from a person who counts picking up the remote as strength training and moving to the refrigerator as a walk. ..
"You might first want to think of the entire 26.2 miles in your mind... if you are still not out of breath...."
6. But you don't look like a typical marathoner
".. and you don't look like a typical human being. I'm sorry!! was I mean...?"
5. If you can't win, whats the whole point of running?
I break into a lengthy sermon on how running is like life/the universe/everything. After 30 minutes when he looks convinced, I laugh out loud and say I was just kidding and ask if he really bought all that crap.
4. What are you running away from?
Dude has just picked up 'The road less travelled' and thinks of himself as an amateur psychoanalyst. Tread very carefully.. its best to lead him on. I Look around nervously.. constantly mumble something incoherently.. I say that people are watching me all the time...
3. Isn't 6 months too much training time...?
First making sure he has never run an inch before, "how many months did your training take".
2. If you trained harder, you won't have to stop for water.
"Yes, when you are training for your run to hell!!!"
1. Marathon? Thats just running isn't it? I hear a Triathalon is a real challenge.
*Sigh*
PS: I just chose the male gender because its easier to pick up one and not try to publish the entire thing for a neutral gender or establish both male/female.
10. My Doctor tells me running is bad for the knees.
His doctor meant- "running is bad for *his* knees". His knees have even forgotten what they are after all those years of couch potatoeing.
9. Whats the distance you have to run for this.. this... marathon thingy...
Pprobably genuine, so make a straight face and give it to him. But this question is really a setup for the next one...
8. Really??? I'm sure I remember it being 26.2 Kilometers...
Got to ridicule him... "Yeah.. but, they changed it last week to 26.2 miles".
7. These days everybody is running one. In fact, I might try one myself...
It irks more when this comes from a person who counts picking up the remote as strength training and moving to the refrigerator as a walk. ..
"You might first want to think of the entire 26.2 miles in your mind... if you are still not out of breath...."
6. But you don't look like a typical marathoner
".. and you don't look like a typical human being. I'm sorry!! was I mean...?"
5. If you can't win, whats the whole point of running?
I break into a lengthy sermon on how running is like life/the universe/everything. After 30 minutes when he looks convinced, I laugh out loud and say I was just kidding and ask if he really bought all that crap.
4. What are you running away from?
Dude has just picked up 'The road less travelled' and thinks of himself as an amateur psychoanalyst. Tread very carefully.. its best to lead him on. I Look around nervously.. constantly mumble something incoherently.. I say that people are watching me all the time...
3. Isn't 6 months too much training time...?
First making sure he has never run an inch before, "how many months did your training take".
2. If you trained harder, you won't have to stop for water.
"Yes, when you are training for your run to hell!!!"
1. Marathon? Thats just running isn't it? I hear a Triathalon is a real challenge.
*Sigh*
PS: I just chose the male gender because its easier to pick up one and not try to publish the entire thing for a neutral gender or establish both male/female.
posted by Manohar at 8/09/2005 09:04:00 PM
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